It’s difficult to measure success or failure while living in a single moment. The compulsion is to attach that binary metric to what you’ve recently gained or lost—it’s wildly subjective. However, if you measure time spent by grabbing all the great, bad, and awkward slices of time and jumble them together, you get a wonderfully sloppy mosaic that is you. Here goes… 40 moments and factoids over the last 39 years that alone are ordinary, but collected, are uniquely me.
I married an amazing woman...
Twice in two years.
I’ve spent a night in the drunk tank.
I’ve been laid off two times.
I’ve stayed on the phone until sunrise with a special someone (see #1 & 2).
I’ve seen every Star War on the big screen.
I’ve converted from a dog to a cat person.
I’ve maintained childhood friendships, despite gaps in time.
I’ve made lasting friends in my 30s (something I thought impossible past school).
I’ve gotten a lot of closure, but had to let go of things just as much.
I’ve been teased, tortured, hugged, and held.
I own every Weezer album on vinyl.
I’ve danced, climbed, cycled, and ran thousands of miles.
I’ve sang karaoke, performed improv, and bombed many a first date.
I’ve sported every un-ironic permutation of facial hair.
I’ve passed a kidney stone. Slowly.
I’ve struggled with self-hate and body image.
I broke my pinky finger playing kickball. No-contact kickball.
I’ve packed up my life in a car and moved 1000 miles.
I’ve been depressed. I’ve been stubborn. I’ve sought help.
I’ve apologized. A lot.
I’ve had a pager, a Nextel, a Nokia, and iPhones of various shapes and space capacities.
I’ve taken music with me on a Walkman, a portable CD player, and literally every version of the iPod (even the tiny stick with no buttons).
I’ve surfed dial up, Ethernet, and broadband. I also remember life before the internet.
I’ve owned the same movie on VHS, DVD, Blu-ray, digital, and UHD formats.
I’ve seen the popular vote lose twice, buildings fall by malicious intent, and a capitol stormed with frustrated ignorance.
I’ve witnessed hundreds of hours of live music.
I’ve eaten a million tacos (conservative estimation).
I survived four car accidents.
I couldn’t get off book for a play I wrote.
Comic books have become my favorite fictional medium.
I grind my own coffee and make my own tomato sauce.
I once confused powdered sugar for flour when rolling dough.
I enjoy Legos just as much now as I did 35 years ago.
I’ve given eulogies and birthday toasts.
I’ve cried until my eyes were dry, laughed until I couldn’t breathe, and fallen asleep hugging a toilet.
I fear the day that I won’t be able to pick up and spin my nephews because they are too big (getting there).
My favorite dessert is children’s breakfast cereal.
I believe you should finish a pint of Guinness in three hearty sips.
I’ve learned how rare it is to have siblings I consider best friends.
All in all, not bad. Happy birthday, me. Despite global crises and personal setbacks, I’m still the luckiest and infinitely thankful.